Nails….and Hair

SO a few days ago I was enjoying my bi-monthly pedicure, which I’ve been enjoying since I was pregnant with Owen…and yes I said bi-monthly! Not because I’m cheap, just b/c I’m lazy and can never seem to find the time to get into the nail salon on a regular basis. I was there thinking about what cool design the lady was gonna put on my big toe =when a BEAUTIFUL pregnant woman walked into the salon. I instantly got so sad. She had the cutest baby bump, which I sooo long for again. ((We are pretty sure chemo didn’t take the baby-making ability away from me, but we are waiting the 2 years of being cancer-free before trying for more babies!!…Feb 2012 can’t come soon enough!)) I loved being pregnant so much, loved watching my body expand and change, loved feeling the little life inside kick and move, I even loved my HUGE swollen feet. Oh the excitement I felt, and the self confidence I had about myself physically was so weird. Yes I was HUGE but I felt truly beautiful during that time of my life. Nice and tight. I was firm, not jiggly like usual. I loved the whole experience.  This girl in the salon was dressed so cute, seemed so happy…and she had such nice hair!!! It was longish, blondish w/ her bangs brought back a bit with a boddy pin….sound familiar. Yes her hair looked like mine did when I was pregnant with Owen. Now I don’t dwell on a lot of the cancer stuff anymore…I still get pissed thinking about some of it from time to time…but I just deal with it.  I know losing my hair sucked…and the growing in process sucks too. Going from long blonde straight hair…to dark and curly is taking a little more transition time than I thought.  I get sad to think that my hair will never be like that again. Everyone always says “it’ll go back to normal soon” or “when its longer the weight will pulll it straight”…buuuut I’m thinking its not. I’m thinking this hair is the new Erin and I just have to get over it!!

So a few days after seeing that beautiful girl in nail salon I decided to see if I was able to blow dry and straighten my hair liked I used to…I was going for the A-Line hair cut look that I had right after I was diagnosed with Hodgkins back in August 2009…like here at my Pre-Chemo party that Mom and friends threw for me!

and this is what I got…

YES…Its finally getting longer…BUT totally NOT the hair line, nice smooth look I once had.  The residual chemo killed hair is still present when its straight. Something that is just freakin’ lingering many many many months after this whole ordeal. I didn’t realize that there were still so many yucky dry bits since you can’t see all of them when its curly, which is how I wear it every day.  Thought this could have been a POSSIBLE alternate hair do from the everyday curly…but I was sadly mistaken. I just think…will I ever go back to the “old Erin”…or will curly be the new me forever??  Guess we’ll have to wait and see…I have no other choice right? haha