Kindergarten is QUICKLY approaching. And I know there are a lot of people around the country going through the same feelings as myself this week…we are letting our babies go free! Heck…I have a handful of friends locally that are in the exact same boat too. I hear people say how they are so sad their babies are growing up and going to kindergarten and how life is passing by so fast. But I feel its deeper.
When I think about Owen starting school I literally get a feeling inside that I’m gonna die of pure anxiety. I get scared! You would think it was MY very first day of school! But this is the first time I don’t have total control over my child…and if you know me you know that could be an issue (say what you want…I’m a control freak!) Yes he went to daycare. Yes I wasn’t an at home mom to literally have the leash on 100% of the time. BUT when he was at daycare, our Martha still allowed me to have control! She would do as I wished. He ate what and when we both agreed. He napped when we agreed. We worked kinda as team. THANKFULLY Martha taught my son SO much. Socially, Emotionally, Physically. She was a support system that he needed. She cared for my son and loved him like a family member would! He will no longer have Martha…will his teacher be the same? Will his teacher and me work “as a team” for Owen? Will his new daycare be the same? Will they love my Owen? Maybe I’m a pessimist but I’m doubtful. And that makes me sad.
We have thought about this day since he was born. The day they would go to school. Always joking about it…but now the time is here. Once they start school that is it…there is no going back. Its freaking crazy!
I mean starting pre-school…yeah you could always let them miss a day or not practice their words because it wasn’t “real school”…right? No biggie!?!? Yeah…not now. This is THE foundation we are now creating for the next 13 years of his life! This is the work ethic that he will carry on through his school years! Its starts now! What happens if we do this part wrong?? Will what we have taught him to this point be strong enough to carry through? Not just in terms of academic stuff but manners, behavior stuff, etc. I’m worried he’ll make the “wrong friends”. I know some may be thinking…how can a kindergartener be wrong…well…you might not know BUT kids can be MEAN. Some kids are just naturally little assholes! haha And my Owen typically is NOT an asshole. He’s a very sensitive (almost too sensitive) young man! I pray that he makes friends with kids that align with his personality! I know I’ll be worrying about friendships later in life too (like high school…holy shit if he makes the wrong friends then we are doomed!) but for now I just hope he’s happy and meets a few nice kids!
We are currently waiting to figure out IF he gets into the AM kinder at the school in Norco I transferred him to. Then we’ll be able to enroll him into the local church daycare. So scary. I’m hoping once that is all set in stone MY anxiety will go away a bit. He goes from a big group, just a number at a daycare…to a classroom. I pray that these adults care for him. I want him to feel the love around him and not be just some kid. Oh God. How sad would that be.
Why is Kindergarten so hard?? We have 14 days before he becomes a real STUDENT!
Gonna be savoring these last few days of summer!! Beaches. Pools. Fun!
