So a few weeks into December Ella and I were at dinner with Nana; which was a fun night. BUT at that dinner date I noticed a lump in Ella’s neck. She laughed really hard and threw her head back…and there was a marble sized lump under her adams apple. I was alarmed. BUT thought maybe it was a lymph node…maybe she had a cold or something…so I was going to watch and wait.
3 weeks later the lump is still there and not shrinking. Into Kaiser we went. Had some lab work done, ultrasound referral, etc. Her pediatrician wasn’t overly concerned BUT I wasn’t letting this go. I’m sure you all figured…lumps in necks aren’t my thang.
Ella doesn’t do well with shots or blood work. So since she didn’t kick any nurses or doctors, I brought her to Toys R Us for a little treat.
She was terrified for the ultrasoun because she had no idea what it meant…and I kept telling her it was like checking on a baby in her beck.
The u/s tech told me that this “mass” wasn’t fluid filled like a typical cyst…but couldn’t tell if it was solid or not. She should me where it was and what it looked like!
My stomach dropped when the tech said it didn’t look like a typical cyst…but of course she couldn’t say much more. I got tears in my eyes…but had to quickly get my shit together so Ella didn’t see or sense my nervousness. I couldn’t go through someone else in my family being sick or anything. It couldn’t happen to us….right?!? So we waited for the Head Neck Surgeon to call us with an appt.
Our doc was AMAZING. She didn’t seem concerned but totally understood my fears and we decided that we would have it surgically removed. Funny enough, they had an appt open up for the same week that fit right into our schedule. I feel like it was a sign that we were doing the right thing. I was scared. Scared for my little girl. Scared what that little lump could be.
I took the day off…Daddy went to work...Maggie to Marthas, Owen to school. Ella was nervous but doing a great job being ok! And oddly enough, Nana and GRANDA showed up in the waiting room with us as well (I think my Dad was also very nervous…as we all couldn’t shake the idea that what this COULD be).
BUT we had a middle morning appt. Which is kinda hard because Ella couldn’t eat or drink anything before surgery. She watched her ipad and we waited.
But when we went back and got her ready for surgery I could tell she was getting very nervous. No tears but no talking (which is NOT like our girl!). I was being very strong and kept it together. Listening to nurses and anesthesiologists telling me about when she wakes up she’ll more than likely be crying…not from pain, just a side effect of the drugs.
Doc came in and marked her up…to make sure she knew where she was going and what she was removing.
Then they told me to give her a hug…and even now as I’m writing this a few months later I’m getting teary eyed. Its hard doing this. I can’t even imagine the parents who have children that are chronically ill…this was the hardest hug and kiss and “See ya after your nice nap” ever.
I was brave for her…but was in tears after this…
Little over an hour later and Dr. Ghostine came out to tell us that she did GREAT. They got the whole “mass” and she felt pretty good that it was a cyst. It was white in color, she got the whole thing intact, it didn’t burst or anything. But she said it was good and in there…she had to kinda dig it out a bit. They were sending the lump to pathology but we felt good.
So I was bracing myself getting to go back and see her. I was having nightmarish thoughts about when Owen was in recovery after his surgery when he was 5 weeks old..he was screaming his head off. Oh it was horrible.
He had pyloric stenosis…another minor surgery but it was traumatic for this new mama at the time. I went into recovery for him, to find a nurse trying to feed him a bottle of sugar water…but this baby had never had a bottle before…so he was SCREAMING and so I was crying and leaking and more crying. Ohhh god I’ll never forget me just holding him and calming him and wanting to punch the nurse so bad in my life. haha So…i wasn’t sure what I was going to see when I got to Ella.
But I walked back to recovery and found her just sitting there. Not crying, not screaming and shouting…just laying there. Peacefully. The nurse said she had JUST WOKE UP. So I waited for the tears…
But the tears never came. She just chilled. The nurse asked me if she was always like this…..UMMMM NO!! Haha. She just gradually woke up, nice and easy. No tears no nothing. She did AMAZING!! Such a little champ! I couldn’t believe it. I was so proud of her.
Few stitches on the outside, more on the inside, but that was it. Lumpy was gone!
Within a few minutes she was smiling again. And when she seemed to be recovering ok they let me give her some water (she was so thirsty) and a nice nurse…who I actually grew up with, Amy brought her over a popsicle. She was extremely happy about that.
After about an hour…we were released and home. She was a little champ man! I was so impressed with how well she did!! She even got a little spoiled from Nana, who surprised her with the giant LoL surprise set. But I was ok with it. She totally deserved it!!!
Less than a week later, Dr. Ghostine called to let me know that pathology results were back and it was in fact a typical cyst!! No cancer, nothing weird. Thank you Baby Jesus!!
Now she has a cool little scar BUT thats ok! we’ll deal! 
