So I watched the movie “50/50”….and its funny because everyone wanted to know what I thought about it…what does the cancer survivor think of the movie about cancer??
**The overall premise of the movie, in case some of you don’t know…basically a guy that does everything right (ie, won’t cross the street until the green man lights up), is kinda a scary cat (doesn’t get his license since motor vehicle accidents are in the top 5 ways to die) is diagnosed with a rare form of spinal cancer. And the movie is all about his journey.**
Well I’ll tell you how it made ME feel….it scared the Sh*t out of me! It made me think that my cancer was seriously a cake walk…I wasn’t ever told there were no other options if my cancer didn’t respond to the chemo (Thankfully because I would have LOST it if they ever had to tell me that!)…My doctor told me that I’d have another form of stronger chemo, a stem-cell transplant…there would be more to do, if it didn’t respond well to the chemo! I never got the point where was nothing left. And thinking about being told that was freaky! I don’t know what I’d think about if I was told that. The fear that would go through your body…would it be worse than the fear I felt go through my body when I got the news?!? I guess each diagnosis is the same…within the perspective of each persons life and situation. The fear is the same, the unknown is the same, the questioning is the same.
The character in the movie was so lonely…which I think is definitely real…even people with huge families or support systems like I had…you still have those moments of pure loneliness & depression! I had a great system…a great caretaker in my husband who was there for me the whole time. He told me how beautiful I was, even when I was bald…and not so cute!
All the scenes in the chemo suite…made me feel nauseous. Brought me back to this place…
I could taste the chemo in my mouth…Sense the fear of puking as they pushing the drugs…I could feel the cold fluids flushing through my port into my veins, making my whole body chill. When I saw the fluids drip on the TV…it made me sick, weak and as if I was the one there getting the chemo. I didn’t like the way it made me feel. I even told the hubs it was messing with my head…having to get up and get some water!
The movie was real in the fact of the emotions that go along with battling cancer. Whatever type you have, the road is very similar for us all. Death becomes something that isn’t so far fetched, but possibly a reality, which in turn changes you as a person forever.
This movie made me cry, laugh, thank God my cancer wasn’t as bad and pray that it never comes back…cancer…any type….I don’t want it EVER AGAIN!
Never again do I want to get Neupogen shots in my stomach to help my white blood cells grow…eff this!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment