T.G.I.F.

Wow…one full week of school done….5 whole days…. haha I know a lot of people have NO sympathy since they work all year long with only 2 weeks of vacation a year…but the time off is an awesome luxury of being a teacher, BUT working with kids ALL day can REALLY take it outta you!

Whoohoo I’m finally getting a hang of this classroom teaching stuff…the key is…you have to PREP really good. haha (DUH!) Know when to start a power point, when to stop it to review workbooks, which kids to sit next to which kids so they don’t talk and misbehave…I’m TOTALLY catching on! And then dealing with 45-54 freshmen PE classes…haha That’s just another completely different beast! I’m just sooooo “freshmened” out! I used to love teaching a few classes of freshmen…they are so cute, innocent and easy to get into activities…but I also love the maturity of sophomores, being able to kid around with them. Freshmen just don’t get my jokes yet (b/c you know I’m such a comedian!) haha!

But Owen is also taking some time to transition into being back at Martha’s as well. Poor lil dude spent the whole summer basically with Mom and Dad…and now he’s back to hangin’ w/ kids all day long at daycare. Martha has texted me this week saying Owen’s being very sensitive and emotional, asking to be held a lot :(  He’s eating is REALLY hit or miss…usually he eats EVERYTHING for Martha…but not this week  Aww…My poor little man! Sometimes it takes some time to get back into the routine of things. 

Owen’s first day back to Martha’s on August 9th…

…I pretended like it was his first day of school. He has“graduated” from the diaper bag these days…and now has his big boy Superman Backpack (thanks Harp familia…you gave him that for his FIRST birthday!) You notice how excited and happy he was….and this is how he was by the end of the first week…(last Friday, August 12th)

Blankie, Dodo…yes he was in need of comfort…my poor lil dude!

But now after a full week I think he’s adjusting back just fine…heck the whole family is adjusting back to the working life (including Bernie!) Huge sigh of relief for me…I’m finally settling back  in to the life of juggling life with a smile on my face (ha most of the time anyway).

Its been a really HOT week here in So Cal…so we had some front yard sprinkler fun with the Gerke’s. (yes I said frontyard…we are ghetto like that in Eastvale!) hahaha

And as a friend said while driving by…we totally have the “red-neck swimming pool” goin’ on too!!!! Yeeehaaawwwww!  The kids loved “swimming” in the ice chest!

Looking forward to fun this weekend!!  Take Care folks.

…and 2 years later

I have been thinking about this post all week. Its been such an emotional week for me…starting a new school year, teaching something new, being exhausted, having major anxiety…saddness from this stupid group on facebook called “You Know You Are From Southridge if you…” I don’t know why…but it just makes me sad. Southridge was a very close knit community that I grew up in, located in South Fontana (California). At one time it was considered the “rich” side of Fontana…but quickly lost that reputation…and became pretty darn ghetto! But its my roots…funny memories, bad memories…and all of it has been put on that site. But all my childhood memories flood my mind with thoughts of my brother…the funny memories with him, reading funny stories about his friends but the fact that he died within this community just pisses me off. This close knit community, claiming to be so tight, but when Paul was murdered,  no one spoke up…no one had his back…and it makes me horribly sad and mad at the same time! Yes 11 years later I still feel this way!  So the whole mix of all these emotions has been wild this week…and the thought of August 12, 2009 also just makes me very sad.

2 years ago today I was sitting in Harrah’s Hotel & Casino in Laughlin, Nevada, we had been on the boat the day prior and were getting ready to head out to the boat again with The Manley’s and The Paul’s…when I got the phone call on my cell.  Dr. Navarro called to tell me that the results of the ultrasound guided biopsy came back, and it was positive that I had Hodgkins Lymphoma.  I remember him telling me to get a pen and paper, and spelled out “H-O-D-G-K-I-N-S L-Y-M-P-H-O-M-A"  he wanted to make sure I had the proper spelling since he knew I was probably going to google it. While I sat on that bed…with little Owen next to me, Yosh staring at me…I didn’t cry. I was just in total shock. At that stage we knew I had a large “mass” in my chest…so I think we were relieved that this was THIS cancer, rather than another more serious type of deadly tumor. We were told that Hodgkins was the “Hollywood of Cancers”…meaning it was very curable! What do you do when you have been told over the phone, while on vacation in another state that you have cancer….I remember Yosh asking me if I was alright…and me just responding “yes, when are we leaving for the boat?”.  I was so numb!  I called my parents…Mom tried acting brave and thrilled that it was “only” that. She said in that phone call (for the 100th time)…that Auntie Eileen had beaten Lymphoma twice and she was in her 60’s! That’s mom’s way of pretending like she wasn’t scared shitless…which she totally was.   We went on the boat that day…and tried to enjoy ourselves. I think back now…and feel bad for Joel & Deanna and Erika & Chuck…like how do you act around your best friend who has just been diagnosed with cancer…pretty awkward huh?!?

I have a video of me singing to Owen…the Rascal Flatts song “My Wish”…its very sad…was going to upload it but can’t…so here are the pics of me singing to him.

That day on the lake I couldn’t take my eyes off Owen…I only thought about dieing…scared I’d never get to see him live, marry, go to school, drive…hell even walk. At that time I was scared of everything and that I’d die very soon. And I know that Yosh was dreading and denying the thoughts of losing his wife and having Owen alone. He never wanted to talk about it then…but I know it crossed his mind!

Today…I should be happy right…I mean my life has totally turned around. I’m healthy, 18 months cancer free…awesome! But I’m not happy…today makes me sad. Mom put it to me well, she said “Erin, its ok that your not happy yet…its too soon…hell you can still taste the damn chemo for Christ sake”.  Exactly Bernie…you hit the nail on the head with response. I can still taste the chemo, smell the hospital, feel the nausea…oh dear. BLAH.  But I’m no longer scared…wait I’m lying…yes I totally am. Just a different scared. The constant fear that the cancer will come back always lingers in me.  I’ve asked other cancer survivors and they all have similar fears…so I think this is one of the lasting “effects” cancer leaves on you. This internal fear…the scar from my port and my “tattoos” from radiation. Those are all still there…oh and my nice new curly hair. All reminders of the battle!  I wear this necklace that my Dad got me for my birthday…proudly…

…the necklace rests between 2 of my battles wounds…Port-a-cath scar on the left, Radiation Tattoo on the right (it looks like a TINY blue freckle)

 

Week 1 of work is done…it was only 3 days of teaching but man I’m exhausted. We were suppose to be in Laughlin tonight until Sunday…for the Laughlin Regatta which is a river float…but we are so exhausted and I couldn’t bring myself to go back to Laughlin and be in the same place 2 years later. To freaky.  So we went to dinner…me and my 2 favorite boys! Was a nice relaxing evening, Cheesecake Factory for dinner, Coldstone for desert…but now I must go, add MORE calories to my evening and enjoy some wine Ü

 

I miss Summer Vacation already!

   

Today was barely my first day back to teaching…yesterday was the official first day back to work, but that was for teacher prep….and OH I miss our  beach playdates already.  Talk about stress…I was told by a co-worker on Monday afternoon that I was scheduled to teach Health Science in the classroom…I thought my co-worker was messing with me I thought “They wouldn’t schedule me in something I’ve NEVER taught before without giving me a heads up…..right?!?”  So I marched up to the (new) assistant principals office, (who was NOT in his office at the moment), to find out that it was true…I was in fact teaching Health in the classroom.  I’ve taught Health…but only online…never in a “real” classroom setting. So panic started to set in!! I knew deep down I’d be ok…but to get ready for a class I’ve never done in 2 days was tricky! Funny thing…the assistant principal in charge of scheduling didn’t actually SPEAK to me about this until yesterday at 2:45pm! haha Nice communication skills huh…love all the time he gave me to prep for this new adventure?!? Yeah I wasn’t to thrilled. But with the help of a fellow health teacher…I think I might be ready…hopefully.  We all know I’m a creature of routine…a bit autistic when it comes to that kinda stuff…and THIS was NOT in my routine. But my anxiety is finally down now.

No Addi is not our child, but we love her like she is. People always ask if Owen and Addi are twins when we are out…funny that Owen is 4 months older but you can’t tell by looking at them!!

I taught my 2 classes of freshmen PE today..ohhh man…53 9th graders in one class….I feel like I have a whole football team that I’m trying to keep track of. I love freshmen, they are usually very quiet, scared and listen to directions without any issues….that being said….they are usually only like that for the first semester. Once we are comfy they start finding their “clichés”, being mean, snobby, etc.  But the first semester I love them…small, still so innocent and cute (most of them anyway!) Our day started bad this morning…first day of school with students and in my groggy slumber I hit the off button on the alarm instead of the snooze button. So I woke up 50 minutes later than I planned~  I guess that just means I had a great summer since my brain didn’t automatically remember how to function the darn alarm clock! ;/

Play Day at Laguna with The Cilderman’s and Manley’s

While I’m introducing myself to all these BRAND new faces…I have to remember what its like to be the little fish in the big pond again.  Usually I teach a mix of classes..few periods of all freshmen and a few periods of upper levels…but this year I’m with ALL freshies!! I won’t have any repeaters…kinda makes me sad. The only “repeaters” I have are those 9th graders that have older siblings that were in my class over the past 4 years. Can you believe I’m starting my 5th year teaching…gosh. Remember way back when…being nervous about figuring out how I wanted to mange my own PE class…I feel similar about this darn period of Health. 

A fun day at Newport…

This summer Owen and I went to the beach as much as we could. I remember years ago asking our friend Heather “how do you love going to the beach, lugging all that crap in the sand…yuck”. But now I understand the simplicity of bring 1 child to the beach. Its actually fun…bring the bare necessities, Owen plays in the sand, I take pictures of him while trying to keep the seagulls away from our snacks. Gosh…so relaxing…I loved it!

Owen took a fancy in finding shells while at the beach. One day I caught a sand crab and I thought he was gonna love him…but nooo he wanted me to throw him back and “kill him” (sorry I know its not nice to hear a 2 year old say to kill something, but he knows it from killing flies with the swatter or killing spiders…we’re terrified he’ll find a black widow and not be scared of it") Bad parenting….I dunno?? But at least now I know he won’t get intentionally bite by a nasty spider~!

 
Getting Boogey  Boarding lessons from daddy at Newport with cousins Peyton and Bailey…on Daddy’s birthday!

I hate the sand…I hate sitting in it…getting it on my hands…crunching it between my teeth when trying to eat something…yuck. BUT this summer…with Owen being the age he is I have REALLY enjoyed sitting in the sand, digging, making sand castles, everything just for MY Owen! I loved the beach…and truly miss it already!!!

Good Bye Summer Vacation…HELLO school year! 

Since Newport was Black Balled…Daddy hopped on Bailey’s boogey board and caught some waves!

One of Owen’s fav things…stealing other’s people’s deserted sand castles! haha

 

 

 

PS. I think its official…my child’s hair is pretty darn close to being WHITE now after all the sun this summer!!! haha A typical “toe-head” blonde!

Laughlin with some of our 2nd family…Friends!

Since the boat was sitting on the side of my house most of the summer…we tried getting to enjoy it as much as we could before going back to work. So even though we were just in Laughlin with family the week before last we decided to get a friends trip together. Its so hard with our group of friends…either someone is pregnant…has a newborn or works to much! haha So every trip we are always missing friends…but we have fun for them! :)

For this late summer trip it was The Manley’s (Joel, Deanna, Caroline and Wyatt), The Rowe’s (John, Jessica, Addison and Tyler) and us. It was the little boys first trips to Laughlin….Tyler being only 5 months old and Wyatt 11 months…having babies at the river makes for fun times. Someone is always needing something….whether it be one of the kids, babies or husbands! haha The days of laying on a raft, drinking cocktails until the sun went down are GONE! We usually get out on the water between 10-11am…and are driving back to the hotels around 5pm. Long days for kids. No more going out all night dancing, drinking and gambling…now we trade off…boys nights and girls nights. Somehow us women get the short end of the deals b/c we get a few hours out and the boys still stumble into the rooms at all hours of the mornings. haha BUT that’s ok…sipping wine when the babies go to bed and chatting in our beds is fun too (when that works out right!)

We love our trips to the river…I feel like we have brought so many people on our boat, made some awesome memories and just have MANY MANY more to make. Big things have happened on river trips (more on that later this week!).  Either way I feel at peace there…MOST of the time! 

Taking a stroll up Lake Mohave (or is it Mojave?!?!? haha I seriously don’t know how to spell it…I used to think for YEARS that it was with a ‘J’…but this last trip I was looking at signs everywhere…and its when a ‘h’…haha oops. Who knew?)

Day 1 at the Lake was a Souza Only Family day…which we have NEVER done before. We took a day to spend time together and enjoy the boat all to ourselves…I mean we LOVE sharing…but you know what I mean. We needed some family time. Nice and relaxing…I REALLY enjoyed myself!

Owen was exhausted after our Family Day on the water…he looked so comfy while we were cleaning up!!

We met up with our friends…and it was so cute to see them play together, run around, scream (yes my son is TOTALLY a screamer haha) Then bedtime…yeah right they all slept together…this pic was taken RIGHT before we all departed into our own rooms for the night.

Day 2 & 3 were enjoyed by everyone. It was nice and mellow…listening to our AWESOME new sound-system. And I’m happy to announce there were NO arguments between my husband and I over the volume of the music…haha For those of you that don’t know I’m VERY sound sensitive and my husband is going deaf in his old age (34!) so we argue about the volume of everything from radios, tvs, anything. haha

 

Now…I must go and continue my pitty-party that I’m throwing myself…I go back to work tomorrow…first-day-back-blues.  Students come back on Wednesday so I still have some time to shake myself outta it. Maybe I’ll feel better once I get organized for a class that I’ve never taught before and JUST found out I’m teaching today…grrrrr….don’t get me started!!!