Our Little Clare

Today was a very sad day!  At a young age of barely turning 3 years and 8 days old, our little Clare had to be sent to doggy heaven!

Back in November when we were re-doing our floors the Souza dogs were sent to Casa De Gallagher… indefinitely.  The reason we HAD to get new flooring was because our darling little Ando (my male Yorkie) had marked all over the carpet. The day that Ando “marked” my human child, I knew he had to be relocated quickly before Yosh killed them! So Ando and Clare were a package deal…so they were staying with my parents for a while. There they had more “dog friendly” areas to hang during the day and got lots of love and attention from my parents in the evenings…was the best situation for them!  Anyway…1.5 weeks ago Bernie said that Clare was acting “weird” and not eating great. I told Mother to not worry about it, she was probably having one of her “Neurotic Moments”.  She had them every few months, and those that come over our house often had witnessed the metal sniffing, random barking, hiding in the kitchen, etc. that Clare would do for a week or so at a time.  So I thought that was what was wrong this time as well.

After the marathon on Sunday Mom said Clare was NOT doing well and she was going to bring her to the vet Monday morning.  To make an extremely long story short, they kept her b/c her blood tests came back abnormal in a lot of areas. The vet wasn’t sure how Clare was still alive being how dehydrated she was, her white blood cells were very high, her red blood cells were extremely low, and the clotting agent was high as well…to make one believe she had internal bleeding somewhere.  So they wanted to get fluids into her and see if that would help her perk up a bit. Yesterday when Mom and I went to visit Clare, she seemed sick, but put her paws on me, wanted to be held and was licking me like crazy! So we left her another night and the vet started a steroid treatment with hopes that it would help her and what they thought was probably an auto-immune disease.  So last night, I hoped and prayed that our Clare was gonna feel much better today. 

When I called Dr. Butchko’s office today at lunch to check on Clare-Bear, I knew that something wasn’t right. I asked if she had eaten and how she was. They said very lethargic and no she hadn’t eaten.  Of course Mother and I went over to pay a visit to our little pup…once I saw her I knew she just wasn’t ok!  This is what she looked like:

She barely wagged her tail when she saw me…didn’t even TRY to get up and come to me. She barely wagged her tail when she saw Mom…but again didn’t budge to get up.  I petted her and and chatted with her and she didn’t or couldn’t even lick me!  And Clare is the type of dog that would lick the eyes out of your head if she was let!!  No licking, no moving, no nothing was a BAD BAD sign to me!  Since Clare’s vet was out today and tomorrow, the attending veterinarian (who was much nicer and more realistic than the original) told me that she wasn’t doing well and that I would be completely justified in taking Clare out of the pain she was in.  The vet told me that a lot of dogs that get this…stay there for weeks costing thousands of dollars and a lot never make it home.  I’ve NEVER had to deal with having the thoughts, guilt everything in the palm of my hand. I stood there looking at her try to keep her eyes open and thought…”I am thinking about sending Clare to doggy heaven and she doesn’t even know it”…am I the one to play God with her?? It’s a tough decision!!

So I told the vet…I can’t live thinking she is in pain and not going to be ok. The fact that her condition was worse from the day before I knew that she wasn’t going to pull through this. Got the paperwork together to have her euthanized…did you know they can cremate your doggy in an individual ceremony (for a small fee)…and give you the ashes to keep forever!?!?  I didn’t purchase any doggy remains…I don’t think Clare would have wanted that! (sorry trying to have a bit of humor about this, the tears have got to dry at some point!).  But I had Mom and Owen wait out in the waiting room…while I stayed with her.  When I picked her up, she could barely hold her own head up…and that’s when I REALLY knew this was the right decision for her! Her little heart stopped beating before the vet was finished pushing the stuff into her iv…the doc said usually it takes a few minutes after the shot for them to “fall asleep”, but Clare was already to weak and broken down it took seconds.  Was so peaceful…I just held her…and she lay her little head on my arm and that was it.  The vet warned me that sometimes after they pass, they urine or poop…but see…Clare was such an amazing dog she didn’t do either on me!  She’s up in Doggy heaven with all the other lovely little doggy pets that are done here on earth up but are up there keeping someone company while they wait at the gates for their loved ones!

Makes me sad that she was BARELY 3 years old…such a good healthy dog up until this point! Yeah she barked and woke my baby up from time to time, yeah she would chew all his darn toys and pacifiers were her absolute favorite “treat” haha…but she was a good little dog. And would let Owen body slam her and play with her…she was great. She will be deeply missed by ALL the Souza’s…

including my Father and Mother-in-Law…my Niece and Nephew Peyton and Bailey and my sis  and bro-in-laws, Missy & Chris.

<-----she loved Owen so much…always laying ON him or licking his face…but she really just loved him so so much! (Note Bernie’s face…haha)

 

Here are a few more pics of my crazy little dog!!! I can’t believe I’m blogging a memorial for her…NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think that a) she’d die ANYTIME soon b) that I’d BLOG about her….Gosh I’m a changed woman these days!

 

 

 

Rest In Doggy Peace my Little Clare Souza!

Feb. 1st, 2008 – Feb. 9th, 2011